Dear director, in the name of the Father. If here below the possible entry into the field of Pier Silvio Berlusconi is still a taboo, the topic occupies the center of attention in Paradise. If that happened, the center-right games would all be interrupted, as would the entire television system, another “trending topic” among the souls above. The latter also thanks to the breath of fresh air brought to the celestial spheres by Guglielmo Marconi to celebrate his 150th birthday: a super TV installed in the antechamber of Saint Peter with the help of the usual Francesco Cossiga, always at the forefront when it comes to it. of technological innovations. Unexpectedly, the first network captured is Rete4, precisely at the moment when Concita De Gregorio appears who, in the past, wrote about Berlusconi: «He created a memorable disaster in forty years». The Cavaliere, saddened by the recent death of Alessio Gorla, his historical collaborator, chokes up when he sees Concita: «Marconi, Francesco, do you need to tune in to La7? This lady has been haunting me my whole life, please, can you change the channel?”. «But no, Silvio, it’s not La7 it’s…».
Berlusconi, nervous, insists and Andrea Scanzi appears on the screen saying: «Berlusconi best embodied the worst of Italians». “I asked you to change the channel, please.” The two replied: «Silvio, I’m sorry, but we really don’t know how to tell you, it’s not La7, you’re watching your Rete4; they all ended up there now.” Berlusconi, incredulous: «Are you kidding? Barbara Palombelli, the best of them all, would never do something like that to me.” Cossiga responds, embarrassed: «One step left: Bárbara no longer has her talk show. Bianca Berlinguer arrived in her place. “« Cheer, cheer! » Mike Bongiorno enters happily. “We didn’t want to tell you either because Bianchina (right of Mauro Corona) also demanded that, on her program, there be no advertising between the first and second parts.” Berlusconi explodes: “I never authorized that for anyone. And she Didn’t I bring that woodcutter who is the opposite of my style of hygiene?” Marconi and Cossiga, regretful, in unison: “He too, he too…” Finally we change the channel and Littizzetto appears, the one who always provoked the Cavaliere because of his height and on the occasion of his candidacy for Colle he said: «You ran alone and got screwed, you did everything, you understand that.
Berlusconi angrily: “I didn’t ask you for Rai3!” «Silvio, stay calm. It’s Canale 5, we’re at Maria De Filippi’s house…”. Berlusconi comments despondently: “I really didn’t expect this. I have to be able to understand what Fedele and Gianni think.” Saint Chiara, patron saint of television, intervenes with grace and delicacy and whispers: «Only Maurizio Gasparri was outraged by these new Saracens that you, Silvio, fought, as I did in 1200». «For Gasparri, gratitude is not the feeling of the day before – Giulio Andreotti intervenes incisively – and think that now even Gad Lerner is visiting his networks as a guest». The Knight, stunned, responds: “The one who, after always insulting me, paraded at my funeral”. Here comes Biagio Agnes, great CEO of Rai and always loyal competitor: “That’s the least of it. Now, with ChatGPT’s artificial intelligence, the identity of TV channels is lost forever.” Florentine Ettore Bernabei confirms: «As happened with the NY Times, entire Rai programs are inserted into ChatGPT by those who manage private company platforms, perhaps even Mediaset’s Infinity, in defiance of copyright and from there, through a Just ask ChatGPT, formats and schedules emerge for everyone: for Mediaset, La7 or for the rich external contracts that produce programs that are then resold to Rai; State TV is thus robbed twice. And the citizen pays without Giampaolo Rossi, that he is now in our place and the Rai directors, dear Biagio, understand something.” Even Amintore Fanfani, who arrives on a tricycle, is excited to hear about TV: «The presenters thus become puppets who recite, as if they were avatars, what the AI writes.
Who earns more? Companies that sell artificial intelligence. The television business, and I say this as an economist, is now reduced to little. Like, after all, politics, which is becoming an issue, as well as TV compared to companies that produce or distribute artificial intelligence: Deloitte and Accenture, for example.” Cossiga intervenes: «It’s increasingly difficult to understand you. The truth is that no one studies this artificial intelligence, but everyone talks about it; also the Prime Minister with Musk and Gates.” Andreotti responds: «At least the Franciscan explained the Rai program “Codice” well, Father Paolo Benanti explains it well. For ten years he preached AI in via Teulada at night, now it has become a “digital Padre Pio”; like the Holy Spirit, he now manages to be everywhere on television and online: he whispers to the Pope, in Palazzo Chigi and even to Guterres at the United Nations.” Cossiga, who meanwhile competes for control of Marconi: “By the way, the epitome of a Jesuit pontificate is that the Franciscans gain more and more power. Thanks to Rai, Father Enzo Fortunato, former director of the Press Office of the Sacred Convent of Assisi, had a mission in the Basilica, effectively deposing Monsignor Rino Fisichella and has already imposed, in the sacred palaces, Piero Damosso, the TG1 journalist who featured him in his morning column.”
Andreotti, pragmatic as always, comments: «If they don’t manage the digital storm, the revolution will leave all of Rai on the field and many deaths, canceled by an algorithm. The Americans invent, the Chinese copy and the Europeans regulate.” Saint Peter bursts in: “I have to separate you: since Berlusconi arrived I can even tolerate him singing in French, but that’s enough.” The Knight replies: “Don’t divide us, I need of comfort. I have always advised Marina not to enter politics, but if now it were my son Pier Silvio who entered the field, I would explain to myself why he is involving in our programs all these “sinister” characters who have always waged war against me .” «Silvio, wait and see that soon Marco Travaglio will also arrive on your channels. A useful ally to defeat the Democratic Party. After all, what was Littizzetto saying? “In Mediaset stat virtus”, comments Il Divo. And Caiman, disconsolate and in disbelief, he goes to pray for his “piezz and core” children with his aunt Sister Silvana.
Source: IL Tempo
Emma Fitzgerald is an accomplished political journalist and author at The Nation View. With a background in political science and international relations, she has a deep understanding of the political landscape and the forces that shape it.
