Perspective | Carolyn Hax: Her boyfriend “does everything” for her except erasing her doubts about her relationship-

Perspective |  Carolyn Hax: Her boyfriend “does everything” for her except erasing her doubts about her relationship-

G .: Thank you for viewing this as a sign of gratitude. Too many people at the center of this attention will appreciate your boyfriend without the hesitation you feel. In that sense, you are lucky to have to.

But I think this is an opportunity that you should also consider in another sense. Was it really that good to be the buyer of “everything”? Don’t we all feel better about giving to others than wanting to do something for ourselves? no?

What you are describing doesn’t sound “perfect”; It feels uncomfortable without balance. And this is more than enough reason to doubt the continuation of the marriage.

Even if you’re not as worried as I am about the imbalance between you and your boyfriend, it doesn’t all depend on what you get; Where it comes from is also important. If you are not sure that you are lucky, that you are in your life as it is, no matter what you give it, then this is reason enough to doubt. This is the ultimate basis of doubt.

So you have an important thought to do. To help solve the problem, please refrain from thinking that you have to “think” about a certain attitude towards marriage or marriage, for whatever reason, that you can write on “paper”. Look for them instead: do you shine when you walk into the room? Is she the first person you want to tell? Are you your favorite person when you are there? Does it inspire you to give it to him? There is no such thing as “perfect”, but it will get you as close as possible.

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I chatted a lot on Facebook about his habit of listening to young, skinny, skinny women. He says this is normal and causes great distrust, even if I totally disagree with it. Is this my problem, my insecurity, if he’s numb? Or is it just a man and men do it? How do I do this for myself and therefore for us?

Anonymous: People are watching. Clever creeping.

And stereotypes aren’t reflected in who they are, but in the people who use them.

You always think you’re in your marriage, “who” should do everything “for us”? Being the probable train of all that weight would be more disgusting to me than Lering.

If that’s what “men do” and somehow you don’t know it, then you can tell your husband that some men might be careful. So maybe he can be more careful about it. (Inflaming the whole genre for what you both want to do is worse than warn.)

And if he refuses to be more discreet, if he’s just showing you kindness, then how willing are you to work for “it’s all right”?

Vulnerability, of course, is inherent. They are yours and it is your responsibility to train if you are not feeling well knowing that there are warmer bodies.

However, insecurities can be targeted, manipulated, and exacerbated by a partner whose behavior undermines rather than bolstering your confidence.

So my advice is, if you don’t know anxiety, ask yourself if you feel comfortable in this marriage. It’s a fake, you can’t I knowBut you can learn a lot by observing how well you are treated at home or with cold, negative, disgust.

Dear Carolyn: I am a lucky girl; People give me gifts. I don’t always have a place at home to exhibit them. When I find out that Aunt Petunia and Uncle Herm are coming to see me, I change the items and show them the gifts they have provided.

And if I know that Uncle Hermès hates Uncle Marvi, I’ll put Uncle Marvi’s photo in the drawer when I hear Uncle Herm’s coming to see us.

My sister thinks it’s useless. She says that if I don’t like the topic enough to constantly expose it, I ‘fake’ it to only remove it when I know the publisher will see it. The sister is also opposed to editing the photos and she says it sounds like a betrayal on friends and family. What are you thinking?

AND: I think a civilization without absolute integrity in our decorative accessories is doomed.

I think yours and that sounds tiring. I think he knows it’s in the drawer.

Cover your feather nest as you wish.

Source: Washington Post