The German state of Hesse has opened its first anonymous safe house for men affected by domestic violence, a two-bedroom flat located somewhere in southern Hesse that can accommodate two men and their children.
The project is run by Flexible Jugendhilfe, a Darmstadt-based social welfare organisation. Its director, Boris von Heesen, a social manager and violence counsellor, said the initiative aimed to break the taboo around men experiencing abuse in intimate relationships, noting that such cases were still frequently not taken seriously.
Von Heesen said the gender stereotypes embedded in socialisation — expectations that men should be strong, self-sufficient, and fight back — produced shame in many male victims. He described this as the legacy of a patriarchy that needed to be dismantled.
Not a Rival to Women’s Shelters
Von Heesen was careful to stress that the new facility was not in competition with women’s shelters. He said the majority of domestic violence was clearly committed by men against women, that it was often considerably more severe, and that more places in women’s shelters were needed. He added that the organisation stood in solidarity with the women’s protection movement.
He described a wide range of abusive behaviour that could affect men, including psychological violence, confinement, constant monitoring, withholding of money, and degradation, as well as serious physical violence using implements to injure people.
Scale of the Problem
According to the Federal Criminal Police Office, around 20 percent of victims of intimate partner violence in Germany in 2024 were male, amounting to roughly 35,000 people — a rise of 20.6 percent compared with 2020. For domestic violence more broadly, which includes violence within families, the male share stood at 29.6 percent.
Those figures cover only reported cases. The Hesse state criminal police office recorded 2,384 male victims of domestic violence in the state last year and said it believed the true number was significantly higher, citing traditional gender roles and fear of not being believed as reasons many cases go unreported.
Social worker Rebecca Walberg, who is helping prepare the flat, said shame and reluctance to seek help were common among domestic violence victims regardless of gender, but said these feelings were likely even stronger in men because the issue was socially taboo or treated as a joke.
Support Beyond Shelter
Von Heesen said the goal was not simply to provide accommodation. Residents should receive stability and support in rebuilding an independent life. A standard stay of three months is planned, with the possibility of a three-month extension in exceptional cases.
Hesse’s Social Minister Heike Hofmann of the SPD said the scale and intensity of violence experienced by women and men were not comparable, but added that the data showed male victims were not isolated cases and that protective structures were therefore needed in this area too. She described the new flat as a first step, acknowledging that demand was greater than one property could meet. She also said the project helped Hesse implement an EU directive that explicitly recognises domestic violence as a form of violence that can affect all people.
Funding and Next Steps
The state is providing initial funding of 35,000 euros for the second half of the year. The organisation is also raising donations and contributing its own funds. Occupancy is set to begin after the summer school holidays, with applicants assessed through a professional screening process involving several specialist agencies.
The pilot project, which runs for three years, will be evaluated academically. Hesse is now the sixth German federal state to offer dedicated shelter for male domestic violence victims; there are currently 18 such facilities nationwide with a total of 55 places. Von Heesen said he hoped the pilot would lead to more safe houses in future.
